View from the boat
As dearly as I love my middle school students, I despise my first Monday morning class of toddlers – not so much as a whole, but due to this one little stinker that drives me up the fuckin’ wall. But I’m getting ahead of myself.
This weekend found me in Saitama and Tokyo, visiting the host parents and swanking it up in Tokyo Bay, respectively. One of my friends scored some tickets to a two-hour yacht tour with booze and food and all that, so we got ourselves all fancied up and floated down the river on a luxurious boat not unlike what you’d find in a Bond film. Unfortunately, or perhaps fortunately, since I would have either been too nervous to approach him or I would have been too drunk and made an ass of myself, Daniel Craig was not in attendance.
At any rate, it was perfectly lovely, and I met a great many interesting people and managed not to alienate anyone. Kudos to me!
The ship came in a little later than expected, as so I missed my train to Tomioka. I shacked up with the host parents for one more night, slept almost not at all (due to assorted reasons including too much imbibing), and then staggered home the next day on 4 different trains.
And so, Monday began. This first class I mentioned earlier – they were there, as usual. I wish they could somehow manage to all be absent at the same time, but that’s pretty unusual. So, they were all there, including that one, the three-year-old (I know, THREE? Honestly, people, wait a year) that doesn’t really understand what a classroom is. On average, she leaves the classroom for no apparent reason around 3 times a week (in a space of only 50 minutes), spends a lot of time just laying on the floor, or interrupting me to say a bunch of stuff that has nothing to do with anything. (I know, I know: I should be grateful she’s not a little terror, ripping posters off my walls, poking my groin [common among preschoolers here], or something worse, but dammit, I have standards, you know?) Anyway, for her, class is an utter waste of time, but I imagine the idea that she’s in a room she doesn’t have total control over is a foreign concept to her – a lot of young children here are totally spoiled a fawned upon. Japan must have one of the highest tantrum rates per capita here, because I can’t seem to go a day without witnessing at least three or four.
So yeah, she often will get up and stand, inches from my face (I usually kneel when teaching this class), and do various things to get my attention, despite the other two kids that are trying to learn something.
Oh, and did I mention that this week was parents’ week? The parents are fine – it’s the extra, younger kids they bring with them in the classroom that drives me over the edge. So there was that. And then, when my students were doing their coloring, my little angel just sat there, babbling about something or other, and I said, “Okay! Let’s clean up!” And after finally getting her to respond, I see that she’s colored (with her greasy, oil-based crayons) all over the table.
Guess who got to clean that up.
